Artificial Heart: First Generation
by Insanity48
Summary: Blue wants to be happy. Wolf wants to be Strong. Simon wants to be a hero. Ariel wants a family. Liss wants to be normal. And Cyrus wants his next fix. But who are they when thier wants are wiped away in seconds.
1. The End?

"Nothing on this planet can explain a sentient being's need to live, to breath, to feel, to be. Alive. The dictionary doesn't contain a word for the yearning to be alive. Technically everything is dead. Our cells are made of dead material, for example our mitochondria just so happen to be a part of the cell that is made up completely of dead matter. So that begs the question; if billons upon billons of dead cells exist in every life forces chemistry, would that mean we are literally built to die? Destined to die? If so, then why do we try so hard to stay alive? It's because humans are scared, we are instinctively the top of the food chain, so naturally, we get scared when it comes to the unknown, leaving a place where we are the strongest, smartest, maybe it's just hard to let go of it. Some people say they fear nothing in this world, but even if you don't know it, almost all of us fear state of change, the transition from one place to the next, we are all afraid of death."

I sighed as I slowly typed away at my keyboard with the noise of other office workers chattering away in the distance. This was probably the happiest I've been since I came to LA, aside from when I moved here and expected opportunities to fall into my loving embrace. But I don't live in chick flick unfortunately. Regardless of that, I had finished the second to last chapter of my book and all I needed to do after I finished the last chapter was sell it to a publisher (assuming they would want to buy it) and I will be set. I think my favorite part of having my own book, would be going to my own book signing I am just one of those people that are always eager for feedback, good or bad. Weather that is a good thing or not… it's a matter of opinion. I turned around in my seat and looked at my co-worker, Aniya. "Guess what!? I'm almost done writing that book I told you about "she stopped typing and looked up at me with a sigh and an unamused voice "that's... great, blue" almost immediately I felt like a nuisance (despite not doing anything wrong) as I gather my possessions and walk towards the exit.

As I stepped out of the uber which was parked in front of my apartment "goodbye" I say as I walk up the concrete steps and insert my keys into the apartment, unlocking it. "Home sweet home" I sigh as I kick off my heels and take out the bobby pin in my hair, letting it fall to my shoulder 'never again will I wear a bun' I say as I walk to my bathroom and look in the mirror, I take off my makeup and get into more comfortable clothes. 'Okay now to turn on TV and keep writing' I think to myself, pulling out my laptop and typing, sometimes when I type I end up writing whatever I'm hearing, which is exactly what happened in this case scenario. "The ongoing conflict between the U.S. and the middle east doesn't seem to be ending any time soon, in fact several bomb threats have been directed toward the White House and the Pentagon. The United States military is setting up missile defense systems that should be up by the end of this year" I realized this before I kept going, turning around in my seat and looking at the TV I began to wonder.

So many people look back at the past and smile but look towards the future and cower in fear, for me it's the other way around, I am running so fast away from the past I'm starting not to care about what's in front of me. The only thing I care about is keeping from crashing and burning. Moving forward in the world is all I am focusing on, not friends, not family, just work. I'm not good at relationships which automatically made me the black sheep of my family, when it comes to charisma of course. That's probably what got me running in the first place.

I remember it all like it was yesterday, despite that being the most cliché thing to say, it's true. I remember the death of my father, and how my mother indulged herself in alcohol to drown out the pain. But in the end the only real thing she ended up drowning out was her liver, and then her kidneys, and then her heart. And my mother spent her last days hooked up to a machine that was pumping blood for her, breathing the life into her. She didn't have to talk for me to tell that in her eyes, she wished for death. And days after I came to that conclusion, she did die.

I remember my brother, telling me he was gay, and how he never told me, and kept it a secret till after mom and dad died, I hated him for it, I hated losing my best friend after she moved away, I hated walking in on my boyfriend plowing some chick he met at a party. But most of all I hated myself, for trying to write a story that I never understood, which ended up in it making no sense.

I was mad, and sad, and angry at the world. And I hit my breaking point when I realized that my scholarship didn't cover everything, so I ended up being in more debt than I could make in a lifetime. So, I ran away, far to the reaches of this damned country, all the way to California.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt the hot tears streaming down my face. Fuck, I'm crying, and as tears fall from my heart and eyes, my strength goes with it. I wish it was easy to be happy, but it's hard to when it's just so easy to be sad, I want to laugh once in a while, I want to wake up in the morning fell like I actually fucking slept, and feel air fill my lungs, I want to feel the sunlight beat down hard on my skin. But when there is a rain cloud above you, making your skin cold, and the air too thick to breathe in, it's hard to remember what happiness feels like. So instead of fighting and wishing. I lay down and reach for gold tequila.

Is it possible to die from melancholy? I hope not, death by sadness would be one hell of a nosedive.

…

Today, is a new day. And with a new day comes new opportunities to do something great, I am one of the many, or few people that believe everything can change in one day, hour, or even seconds. And with that thought in my head, I only must spit out then ending of my book, and I will be finished.

I call an Uber, having my own car would be nice, but hey… beggars can't be choosers. As the white convertible pulled up in my driveway, I pulled out my phone and opened Microsoft word to type on my way to work. I stepped inside, he began to drive to my destination. I opened the document on my word named 'put in book' it's a place I use to jot down ideas when I can, how I knew to pull it out? I don't know "A recent scientific breakthrough could reshape the course of history as we know it" the sound of the reporter's voice immediately caught my attention "hey, can you turn that up?" I ask, he then turned up the radio "scientists have found that using microscopic Nano-bots in biological entities prolongs life span and preserves physical appearances"

I sighed and thought to myself 'I hope that's not true, my book will be obsolete if that happens' we happened to be driving near the beach, it was one of the rare parts of the beach that wasn't man made and had no dock.

I pulled out the copy of my book, 993 pages. Took me 3 years to write this much up. All my heart in one place.

The uber-driver looked at me through the review mirror "man it's really hot in here" I smiled and nodded before agreeing with him. "I'll open up the windows"

I got a panicked look "wait! Don't!" the windows rolled down and whoosh, out went my entire book with all the pages flying towards the beach. In those short moments my entire body halted, and the world left me behind "St-stop the car! Stop it!" I say as the car screeched to a stop. I got out of the car and ran over to where most of the papers landed, sure enough, most of them were soaked in the beach water. Forever lost.

First my heartrate speeds up, then I breathed heavily, gasping for air that seemed to not be there. "Oh my god… oh my god" the driver approached me in shock "miss, are you okay?" as tears ran down my face, I felt an anger welling inside of me, unable to be contained, I grabbed his shoulders and dug my nails in "don't fucking touch me!" I pushed him away as I ran off in a mess of anger and sadness.

This was a nightmare, a hell I didn't want to endure, I have nothing left now. Nothing of value at least. This was the first time I cried on the streets, it was weird, sharing something so personal with every bystander. Not like I cared, it's not every day you lose your only source of happiness.

I called my boss, lied and said I was sick. I walked home, and for the rest of the day, I pretended everything was wonderful, just like I did back in Maine, throwing away all true feeling for something that could never be.

What if I was never meant to be a writer, I think I would rather have a mediocre life than the writer life, why do writers have to learn everything through pain? That's shitty if you ask me.

Hopefully after this I'll be like Steven king or something, I don't know.

On movies they show people crying while watching sad films and eating a tub of ice cream, which sounds nice. I wish I was doing that, instead I'm becoming my mother. Indulging in cannabis, alcohol, any sedative to distract me... distractions, so wonderful.

I just want to sleep today and wake up with a life that didn't go this way. Who knows, maybe if I wish hard enough it'll happen, like in home alone sort of.

_**WOLF**_

As I drove back to my house, I called my friend SIMON, I got to tell him about what just happened, that was fucking insane! After a short time of ringing Simon (or SIMON as he likes being called) answers the phone "what" he says sounding annoyed. I told him everything, he didn't have much to say about it other than "nice going, asshole" I sighed after he said that "she said it was hot in the car, okay? I had no idea, if I knew she would have freaked out that much I would have just stopped talking."

There was a long pause of silence until SIMON responded "Maybe you should have that mentality more often" I scoffed and looked at the phone as if I was looking at him, sometimes I wish I wasn't such a basket case "look man, I honestly feel bad about this, I wish I could take it back" I could hear him in the background, mumbling to himself and thinking about what to do "you have her address. Treat her to dinner or like apologize or something" I smiled, if there was something good about SIMON, it was that he always was good for strategy and being a strong person in general.

I wish I was more like him.

_**BLUE**_

I wake up and, damn. Wishing never works, I'm still in this shitty apartment feeling sorry for myself because I have no one else to feel sorry for. I wish I was a posh girl or something, being ignorant would truly be a great privilege right about now. I walk into my kitchen and turn on my laptop to start watching a video on the Internet while I make breakfast, anything to keep my mind off of this. Bacon. Eggs. Pancakes. Tater tots. All my favorite breakfast items to indulge my senses.

Indulgence; the allowing of one's self to enjoy pleasure of a person place or thing, is it possible to indulge in life, I'm going to be honest when I say this. Existence is pain. Maybe that's just a little bit of an exaggeration but either way, that's the only theory I have left, I should do something. Donate to charity, something, and anything to get me out of a depressing melodramatic rut… I want to think today is a new day, but it still feels like the same day with the same image of 3 years' work flowing down the drain. It. Sucks.

Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything crazy like that, I'm too much of a wuss. The most I could do is call myself a wore but that would just make me feel worse, I didn't ask for life to be breathed into my lungs, I didn't ask for my mom and dad to conceive me, I'm glad they did, but I'm also mad. And I blame them, if wasn't born I would still be in the deep sleep of non-existence with literally no care in the world. Not one.

There is a knock, I don't answer, I don't want to, I'm scared of what's outside. Anything could be waiting for me on the other side. The knocks don't stop, please don't let there be more heartbreak, and I can't handle any more of it. I dejectedly head my way towards the door as I unlock it and turn the knob "hello?" I say as I realize who it is.

"Uh… hi there, I just want to apologize for everything" it's the Uber drive I rode with yesterday

I slam the door in his face.

I lock it and begin to walk back inside, before I can though, he speaks again "Listen, I feel bad! I just want to help!" I wait a minute before realizing he is not going to go away till I give him some sort of satisfaction, I answer the door again "how did you get my address." He smiles before flushing red "well uh, you did have to give me your address, so I could pick you up" he said scratching the back of his head.

"oh right, yea… My name is Blue, but you already know that from the uber I suppose, do you want to come in or is that weird" he locks his car with a key controller, "not at all" he made his way inside, I could tell by his face that he wanted to ask me something "is there something on your mind or what?" I ask tilting my head to the side a bit. I don't know why I let him in… I feel like I'm going to die, but in a good way. He gets a look as if I just grabbed him out of a daydream and nods "oh, hehe yea… I just wanted to apologize for what I did, I'm Wolf by the way" he scratched the back of his head "that was pretty dumb" I nodded and looked at the floor trying to figure out what to say next "I worked for so long on that book ya know..." wolf got a type of nervous look while he put his hands up defensively "I know you worked hard, I wanted to invite you out to the fair, me and my friend have some tickets and it's the least I could do to make it up you! I swear I would never do anything like that on purpose!" before he kept talking I interrupted him "listen, I'll go with you, I just don't like talking about this right now, I can tell you're a nice guy and all. It's just not very easy right now... i-I just, I" my breathing gets uneasy as I feel like the walls are closing in, he sighed "heh, yea I can tell, we're going tomorrow at 8:00, I can pick you up if that's okay"

"Yea its fine" I got up and opened the door, I didn't want to cry in front of him "y-you should go..." he expressed a frown before he started "But wait i-"

"Please I want you to go now" he paused and nodded, and with that he walked out the door and left me to my lonesome.

I think I should go, relieve some stress

…

No moping around anymore, it's time to put on makeup as best I can and try not to seem like an edgy failure who works at Hot Topic and has a tattoo that says "Pains Philosophy" or something like that, not that I wouldn't mind if I was into that stuff

I go outside and wait for them to pick me up, I was only waiting for about 5 minutes before the familiar car pulled up in front of me and the window rolled down "Heya, you" he said waving for me to come over "Hi, Wolf" I reluctantly walk over to the car and give a lop-sided smile "How…. Are you?" I say opening the back door of the car and looking around "uh… hi... and you are?" I say as I look at the Black-Haired Buff looking guy in the seat in front of me. He looks back at me with a warm smile, he seemed a lot less timid than Wolf, most likely because he wasn't there when all hell broke loose, and I lost my 'life's work' either way though, he seemed nice.

It wasn't a very long trip to the pier where they held the fair, only twenty minutes at most, luckily it wasn't all silence, there was casual talk, getting to know each other better. One could even say it was going well, as far as unfortunate occurrences the day before.

Finally, we arrived at a bright buoyant pier with lights strew all about the lamp posts, confetti covering the ground as if It acted as grass, you could hear the bloodcurdling screams of passengers on roaring roller coasters that billowed through the track. There were also many games, the kinds that were premeditated to assure that there was no possible way you could win unless you blow all your money and make that shot after fifty bucks and ten "one more try's" but it had a rapturous feel to it, as if it was a cousin, happily teasing us about how big your nose is or something, so I decided to enjoy this while It lasted, rather than over-analyzing everything I see.

We began to absorb knowledge over each other thoughts and feelings, it was the best day of my life other than being born. Looks like the best time to get to know someone is when they think they're going to die

But because all things are temporary, we had to leave eventually, but not after the signature throwing up because we went on the Gravitron one too many times. Now they were seeing a side of me that I haven't even seen or heard form in a long, long time.

"Hey Wolf! I want to go on the roller coaster again!" Wolf looked at me as if I was out of my mind as he tried to keep down his lunch "oh god Blue, have mercy on my soul!" I smiled as I put my arm over him "Oh I see, this wolf has turned into a Pussy Cat" he nods quickly as he smiles "ya got that right… I'll just hold onto the drink while you and SIMON go on the coaster" I look next to me at SIMON "sounds good" he says as if he was cognizant to me just by looking at my expression.

I think that was the moment that we knew we would be friends, months and days passed by, we spent almost every day together save for days when we had to work, I realize how good they are and how much they care, I call them when I cry or when I'm scared, I run every idea for a new topic in my book before I add it, they are a lot more intelligent than they originally seemed.

They got me into videos games, and I surprisingly like the most violent ones, as weird as it sounds.

I am re-writing my book if that's not already obvious, it's even better than before, SIMON and Wolf have awakened a light that I never knew I had, some kind of energy that was concentrated onto me.

Wolf is a chaste kind of person that is quite amiable in everything he does, while SIMON is very fiery, but also sweet, gallant. I think we are in love, but we never had put any sort of label on it, although we did 'love' each other enough to spend a night of 'fun' with each other, but it's still too soon to say

Today I gonna see the both of them, I do my makeup and curl my hair while picking out my favorite crop top gravity flow t-shirt, light blue.

Once I'm ready I grab a small bag that I carry around, there is common stuff in it rather than a Taser I keep if I'm in any trouble.

I don't live too far away from them but on the way there I noticed a couple things that seemed unusual… More than unusual, quite aberrant and alarming actually. Helicopters soared in the sky above me as I could see traffic jamming almost every street, all the houses seemed to be abandoned as I saw families of four pulling canned food and things of that nature out of their houses. My heart began to beat fast as everything around me seemed to be off.

I don't watch tv, my radio is broken, it can't be that bad right? I'm in the USA… I'm safe… right?

I pull into SIMON and Wolf's driveway as I step out of the car fast and run towards the door knocking on it "SIMON! Wolf! What's going on, let me in?!" there is no answer as I walk over to the fern next to the door and pull out the spare key, I unlock the door and proceed to walk in, there is no SIMON and wolf. But there are guns and food with clothes strewn about the floor in an organized fashion "what the hell?" I say to myself as my heart twists "what the hell?!" I call their self-phone only for there to be ringing coming from the kitchen counter, they left their phone.

I see a truck pull up outside of the house and come to a screeching halt as the duo hop out. I take a sigh of relief, but I still have questions. "What's happening?!" I ask as Wolf runs to me; his face reads pure terror "Missiles Blue! They are headed for the United States! We have to get the hell out of here!" through all this panic it didn't even occur to me that gunshots are being heard outside, and the more important fact that SIMON was trying to avoid it while he moved guns and food into the truck.

I had nothing to say. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't a dream. It was all real, way too real, and I think my breakfast from earlier is agreeing with me, I ran to the bathroom before puking into the toilet while quivering in fear "no. no. No!" It's so helpless, I can't do anything, these missiles are coming for us, and there is nothing to stop them. I don't want to die, what even happens after death? I don't want to know. I don't want to leave, there is so much more I need to do in this life before I hand in the towel. None of this is fair.

I take a long deep breathe as I walk out of the bathroom, the first thing I hear is the sound of screaming "Wolf?!" It was easy to tell that it was coming from outside, so that is exactly where I headed.

SIMON was fighting of someone with a gun as Wolf stood off to the side, grimacing in pain, with a knife stuck firmly in his leg.

There was this sudden feeling of dread, more than I already had instilled in me. I could fell every single cell in my body working together to keep me alive. I could also feel dopamine flooding my system as my sense increased, I could hear the sound of the knife coming out of Wolfs leg and smell the scent of my own blood. It was a terrible feeling, inhuman at that.

A gun, firmly gripped in my hands, I grabbed it from the bags they had, I don't know if it's loaded, but it's in my hands, and that's what's important.

I have a perfect shot on the attacker, I think. Does it matter if I shoot? We are all going to die soon anyways. What's the point of living, if I am sitting here, about to die?

There is only one difference, I'd rather die with them than watch them die

I pull the trigger, if feel something hit my body like a brick wall as the bullet comes back like a boomerang through my shoulder, a quick moment of shock and before I can scream there is flash of light. A booming, roaring sound echoing through the world, one after another, flashes of orange light fill up my view, sending me flying in a random direction, I can't feel anything, or even think straight. And eventually it stopped.

Silence, I can't tell if I'm asleep of awake, I lay for what feels like an eternity, not wanting to get up, not wanting to see.

A black tear of mascara rolls down my eye, I want my mother, and my father, and my brother. I miss them so much, I want to see SIMON and wolf to, maybe if I just get up it will all be okay.

Once I get to my feet and open my eyes, I immediately regret it. Everything is gone. Everyone is dead. I can't move, don't want to, can't talk, my throat hurts. This is what I meant when I said.

Existence… is pain.


	2. Burn

Everything around me is deathly silent, not the calm kind of silence, the kind of muteness that tells tales of death and destruction that has wiped out everything that could possibly make noise. I may look alive, but truly I'm dead on the inside, that's why I can't make noise, I can't speak, or move at all. I am simply frozen in place, like a calcified person, that just watched everything she knows, and loves be changed in instant.

It's so hot, it feels like little trickles of acid mist are running down my body, not to the point of pain, more like rawness in the skin. Is this what missile dust feels like? The air is so hot, but my body is cold and stagnant.

Everyone is dead. I can't believe their all dead! How can something like this happen, this doesn't even seem real, its looks so insane! I want to see them; I need to seem my friends! Why is this happening?!

I drop to my knees in a fit of tears and tizzy "No!?" I yell loudly, what kind of god would allow this to happen! It gives me the question if there ever really was one. Are all my friends just floating out in an infinite scape of non-existence? All alone and unbeknownst of their untimely demise.

This is total bullshit! Completely ridiculous! My friends can't be dead. I refuse their death; I don't accept it! They were standing right next to me…. Full of life... it is possible that they are still alive. If I survived the blast what's to say that they didn't either, I just need to take deep… long breaths so I can clear my mind and think properly.

If I do remember correctly the angle of the blast came from the right, due to being blocked by building, I wasn't thrown as far as I assume everyone else was.

I must take into consideration that I was only exposed to about a quarter of the explosion, and the shockwave is what threw me, if I was positioned to the right of the blast and my friends to the left, then that would send them near the city. So that's exactly where I should go.

At this point I have a much more calming demeanor. I wouldn't say I'm completely pacified but as of now I'm in a much better state that I was previously.

Maybe they already woke up and went to go look for help, worst case scenario is that they are dead and I'm looking for to corpses, so for now I can do nothing other than pray that this isn't the case. My heart is still racing but I don't think it's only due to me being scared, I look down at my body. I am shocked at what I see, there is about 4 pieces of what seems to be hot metal shrapnel in by body, in this split second, pain sets in and overtakes my thoughts and body, the twinge feeling of the shrapnel put me on my knees and eventually to where I am laying on the ground, unable to move due to the pain, I guess the adrenaline from the blast finally wore off.

In this situation can barely even to keep my lunch down, not to mention noticing now that my ankle is completely purple as if someone dropped a 100-pound weight on it. I don't know how I was managing to stand just before, or how I'm even alive, but it was obvious now that a trip to the city on this leg would be total hell.

But I would rather walk through hell and come out the other side within an inch of my life, than stay where I am and face a meaningless death. I look over my body once more, looking for a couple pieces of shrapnel that could be more problematic than the rest. There was only about two, one in my shin, as you can guess I was wishing that it could be in any place other than where it is now. Either way I pulled it out in a fit of pure pain and dolor. The other however was buried deep in my thigh, since there happens to be an artery in that general area in the leg, I decided not to. Which in my opinion is the smart choice, not that there is a point of having an opinion if everyone else really is dead.

_**ARIEL**_

Until now, I never knew how many sounds silence could make, or the way it can linger in your mind, haunting you with thoughts and questions of what could be heard but still ceases to be. For some reason though, I have always been drawn to silence, maybe it's the fact that when there's no sound it's easier to get lost in visuals.

They say that when one of the five senses are lost, the other senses increase in effectiveness. And this makes a stronger connection to everything someone perceives.

As a child, I wasn't fortunate, I had no one, and nothing, so I put up a façade, a lie that told me "you can do it on your own" and I followed this lie until I believed it. And then she found me, as a small defenseless child. Her name… was Sarah.

And I think that somehow, in some weird way, she was able to see through it, as if losing her hearing made her vision better than just being able to see what was physically there, no, she could see into my soul, she could understand the lies I told myself.

I remember her putting her hand on my shoulder and signing words that I couldn't understand.

And when I turned around the first thing I thought when I looked into those beautiful blue eyes was 'am I staring in the face of an angel?' and now, I'm sure that I was. She took me in, she didn't treat me as if I was family though, she treated me as if I was but a lost baby bird. And I think in the back of my mind, that's really all I wanted, to feel as if I was special, and I was worth protecting and nursing, and for others to feel safe around me. I loved her, more than anything in the world.

I remember the day I sat in our room, looking at myself in a full body length mirror. I'm fat… but I love it. I have been so terribly skinny before. Well, I'm not exactly fat, but more, chunky. I was in her hoodie, it's still too big for me, but I wear it anyways. It feels like she has her arms around me always, and as long as I'm with her, I'll be safe. I learned later that she wasn't much older than me, when she found me, I was 13 and she was 18, just getting out of high school. She enrolled me in school, fed me, and taught me how to normally socialize. Then there was that day, 3 years later, I sat on the steps, crying my eyes out. I don't exactly remember what I was crying about, now, it all seems so damn stupid and insignificant that I would try to remember it if I wanted to.

She didn't ask me if I was okay or what was wrong, she simply pulled me to my feet and wiped the tears from my blurry eyes "whatever it is your crying about, I doubt it's something I could help with, or you would have already come to me. All I can say, is that I love you... so much" whenever I saw those words, I knew she didn't mean it like a parent would, or a friend, but as a guardian angel.

I believe that was the day when the world fell into place, I felt her hug me, in the back of my mind I felt so spoiled, but loved it, and loved to be loved, after all, there is not much else I need from this world.

In this moment I made a final decision, I couldn't ever let her go, I don't know if I could ever find a family that I loved more than I love her.

She taught me everything I knew. Everything I wanted to be. Everything I needed to feel.

As I grew older, I noticed that I was becoming more and more like her, beautiful, inside and out. She taught me how to read people intentions just by looking through their eyes and into their souls. But I could never read her, she was always the one reading me, knowing what I'm up to.

I can recall the day I sat on my bed and she walked inside of my room, the scent of sweet cinnamon following her, and those dashing blue eyes piercing right through me.

She caressed my cheek, gently and signed "I won't always be around… and I don't want you to think of me as a parent, neither should you think of me as someone you need to properly function or live."

'I do need you.'

"You're such a strong girl"

'I'm nothing without you.'

"I have been failing as a caretaker, I have neglected to teach you how to live without me"

'But I don't want to live without you.'

She pulled out a ruby red gem, it was so beautiful, as if it radiated love. My hands shook as she placed the heirloom in my hand, I could feel energy flowing through it. My biggest regret is not ever asking her why we only ever spoke in sign, I never heard her voice, and I never had to learn sign either, she had grown a talent for reading lips; and minds. I like to think that she was always at piece with her death, as if she somehow knew that it was close by.

A month later, it was my birthday. I had told her that I wanted her to say my name for my birthday, it's crazy how someone can forget how to talk. Looking back, I was so foolish. So selfish. I wasted, my last moments with her.

They say that the blood clot was unexpected, that it was hard to detect. When I heard about her death. I threw up my breakfast onto the floor and crawled into the corner of the room, hoping for it to enclose on me and hide me from this terrible truth.

The next day, I trashed her belongings.

Damn her, she left me, she lied. It's all her fault.

She melted my heart when she was alive, and when she died, she left it to burn.

That's how I describe it… burning, burning in a fiery pit of red. Burning in an Icey ditch of frostbite.

Burning. Burning. Burning.

…

Wow, your life really does flash before your eyes. All those visions of her, gone in a second. But there is one thing remaining, that terrible burning. I reach for my neck, where is it?! I look down. Now I remember, the bombs, the screams. Except those screams are still ringing. It takes me a second to see the jewel, to see her. It takes another second to see him, screaming in pain, hanging on to a burning piece of metal sticking out of the wall. He is about to fall, merely seconds away from giving in, but so is the jewel, hangout on a piece shrapnel, sliding down into the fiery building fire below.

He is begging me, needing me to pull him up. But she is begging me, needing me to catch her fall.

Am I ready to let this heirloom die with her memory? After all, he is a real person, about to be ended.

So, again I will ask myself, which one will I save, am I strong enough to let this jewel burn?

No, I'm not.

I reach out and grab the necklace, holding onto it tightly.

As much as it hurts me to see my coworker's body being scorched by fire, it would hurt me worse to see her

Burning.


	3. Freeze

_**WOLF**_

It's so cold, why is it so cold. It's so grey. Where is the warmth of my body? Of my blood? It's all just cold. I think I'm dead.

That's it. Everything, all my opportunities gone in an instant. This is what I deserve for never doing anything with my life, never seeing beyond the glass pane of translucent materials that could never give me what I needed. And I never wanted much. Just to be someone, anyone. Now I'm finally noticing it all, everything wrong with everything, including me.

It's starting to seem like everybody's eyes are locked on some distant time when everything made sense and they're Blinded by a rat race, or the cutthroats, or by the nice jeans they wear, Dazzled by the bright lights that hang all around them, fake junk that they devote hours to, the sightseeing even though we're all blind, and I guess they're just caught up in a smoke haze, so now there eyes are bloodshot, and it all only leaves them begging for Visine, Anything to clear up the mess of information coming in.

It's kind of peaceful, sitting here with my eyes closed, just thinking. I don't want to open them, see the terrible truth that awaits. Just outside my eyelids, stay inside. Stay inside my mind.

And that's when I opened my eyes. It's like opening your eyes for the first time, but this time you know what you're looking at

Hell.

Blood. Blood. Blood. So much blood everywhere. Not sure where it's coming from. Oh right, it's from me. I watch the red liquid drain from my body, as if the medal pipe going through my stomach siphoned blood from me. Why did I have to open my eyes?

Now, sitting here in a pool of my own blood, it makes me look back at my life and everything I have done so wrong. Is this it? Is this shit all there is?! Was I put here just to do nothing? I blame god. Why. Was he unleashing his wrath upon mankind because of all we have done? No. We unleashed our wrath on ourselves.

We destroyed everything we had worked so hard to build. It seems like there was constant bright and sunny days before mankind, and when we came a storm of destruction and sorrow followed, I can't say it was my fault, I was born in the 21st Century, 2027, not much I could do to change the world by then, but I can't say I didn't contribute to the destruction of anything, sitting by and doing nothing is just as bad now that I think back on it.

Fuck that. I don't care about some sort of stupid revelation, I'm too angry, too scared to stop now. For all I care, this whole fucking planet can blow into pieces. So, earth, I give you a challenge, let's see if you can use natural selection as your weapon, and distinguish the flaming hot smudge on your surface, better hurry up and kill me now. Cause I'm melting, straight to your fucking Core.

In a sudden fit of energy and angst, I am able sit up and look around at my surroundings "Jesus!" I reel my head back in pain as I feel the piece of metal protruding from my stomach send a burst of pain to my brain.

I decide not to move my whole body and instead only use my neck and head to look around. Its… it looks like a totally different planet, but surprisingly, many structures are still standing, although in critical condition. It seems that the earth is sleeping, getting ready for my battle against life and death.

_**SIMON**_

My head is fucking killing me, feels like my brain is a literal ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any given moment. I'm so fucking angry right now, so mad. What a fucking piece of shit, calling himself a solider, I'm glad blue shot him…

She's dead. She is fucking dead. I loved her… i was in love with her! Why? Why her? You could have taken anyone else. You could have just left me, wolf and blue together, in death, or in life.

But no, we lost her. I can hear wolf groan in pain "Jesus!" he yells, followed by some weird liquid sounds. I slowly open my eyes, how long have I been asleep? Days? Hours?

I slowly stumble to my feet and look around, Wolf is sitting there, impaled on a piece of something, whatever it is, its pinning his body to the ground.

I only very faintly remember the last time I threw up; I was 7, felt like fire when I threw up cotton candy. Today the former record of me going 13 years without vomiting came to an end.

This was nothing like the last time. Instead of blue goop, it was warm, iron smelling, crimson liquid. All over the ground. I don't feel like shit though, I feel worse.

I feel like literal slop.

Finally, I hear Wolf call my name. I look over to him, I don't know why I'm not running to help him, my legs won't move, this has never happened before.

"SIMON! SIMON! Help me! You have to get it out!" I look down, seeing how far the skewer really was. Wolf wasn't laying on the ground, he was being held up by some concrete on the rear side of the pole, this meant his stomach has been perforated. I winced seeing the injury, blood seeped from his wound swirling around the pole like candy cane decorations.

As immature as it may sound, the first thoughts to come into my head where "Damn... That's cold"

_**WOLF**_

Fuck you Simon! I have no idea why I'm friends with you. I let you take everything from me, now I'm going to let you help me, it's like you want me to be dependent on you, want me to trust that you won't ever leave, or die.

You fucker, now your taking my opportunity to save myself. I can't ever express the anger I have for you, probably because you're the only person I know I can trust, as much as I hate it. I think I know now why I have these feelings, because I'm jealous! There, I said it. I'm jealous that your stronger than me, smarter, better looking, and then you choose to hang around me.

What are you?! Some kind of fucking saint? Everything I do in my life, you manage to take control, simply by being better. And the worst part is, I let you do it, I don't fight you. I've grown to you so much that I don't see how I could manage to pull away from you, you're my best friend. And you're a great person no matter how I justify my anger. But I can't forgive you, you took Blue away from me, you wrapped her in your grasp, molded her into your perfect little cutie. That day I saw you slide your fingers through her hair, walk back into her room "to help her with something" I knew that my chances with her were over. You knew, you knew I loved her, that look of guilt on your face, you knew what you did.

The pain. The jealousy. The heartache you and Blue gave me. The two people I care about most in the world, tortured me, and now blue is dead, and I wish that I was t-

The breath was ripped from my lungs as the last piece of shrapnel exits my torso "F-fuck Stop!" I scream loud and squirm in place as SIMON applies pressure to wound, just cause he's- trying to help doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell

Almost instantaneously bright red blood pours out of me. I think I'm going to be sick. I look down, there is an actual hole in my stomach, or, I think that's my stomach. But nonetheless that was where the line was drawn, vomit comes out of my mouth, most of it is blood as I feel burning sensations inside of me. It hurts so bad that I can't even scream, all I can do is lie here.

I never in my life though I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, never thought I could feel pain like this, I thought the pain of being so lethargic and stupid would be enough, I never fight, and I'm realizing now that I must fight. Before I always had choice, but death is not an option, I no longer have that luxury... I need to do something, anything.

"W-wolf... my back... I need you to take the metal out..." he propped me against a still standing wall, I looked towards him as he turned around and exposed his back, getting on knee level, there were probably about 6 different pieces of metal lodged in his back, if he wasn't muscular he probably would have died. I reached out and grabbed a piece, anger, burning rage fills my brain as I yank it out of his back and hear him scream "that's for blue" I yank out another "that's for toying with my fucking emotions" another "that's for being stronger" another "that's for being better!" finally I grab the last piece, tears stream down my face and I yank out the last one "That's because It would hurt too much to let my best friend suffer" if only I could say this out loud.


	4. Useless

_**LISS**_

'Inability to achieve an intended purpose or desired outcome.' I don't believe that's what my definition of uselessness is, I think it means the same thing as being an incapable person that sits around daydreaming in her final moments, like a child. A dumb, idiotic, cowardly child.

I have urge... one that I can't simply scratch, one that takes place below my waist, one that only another person's touch can satisfy. I hate myself, I'm such a sick, useless whore... it's a mental and physical condition called hypersexuality disorder, I randomly become aroused out of my control, it doesn't take any dirty thoughts. Anxiety, fear, sadness, it all gives me the urge... I have never resisted it. I don't know how to, I just feel it coming and then I can't resist... not at the supermarket... not at work... not even at school. I hate myself, what's wrong with me... why am I such a disgusting person?

Every year I understood just how severe something like this would affect me. I was diagnosed at a age younger than I would like to admit, I don't think back then I understood what arousal even was. I was too young to face it, to understand and prepare myself for what lay ahead

And as time went on I realized what a disgusting person I was, unable to resist giving into pleasure no matter who I hurt, or who I had to disrespect, it wasn't only sexual pleasure either, adrenaline, stealing, lying, bullying, anything to make my serotonin levels spike, even drugs wasn't off the table.

I destroyed all of my relationships, searching for something more, I didn't realize arousal meant more than one thing, I didn't realize that you can be addicted to yourself.

And then I hit age twenty-one, that's when I met him.

I sat there on the beach during a California summer, the ocean blessed everyone with a cool ocean breeze occasionally. The itch hadn't bothered me for a whole day, it was a true blessing.

I would watch all the beach hotties play beach volleyball and drink beers, I wasn't going to join, it was only a visit to the Pacific Ocean shore. I remember the stupid pelicans trying to take my food and thinking to myself 'I'm going to burn every damn sweater I own'

I noticed him looking at me, his eyes piercing through me in a hungry, venomous stare, I could see him undressing me with his eyes. Something about the way he looked at me attracted me towards him. His name Is Dylan

He practically sent me into his arms at sub sonic speed, feeling every particle, every cell, stretched, vulnerable to his hands, and eyes, molding me like clay.

We began to talk, and bond. And within a couple days he had me in love with him, but the amazing thing is, I've never fallen in love before; not like this.

For almost a year, I lived with him and loved him like I did when he first held me in his arms, and I continue to love him.

Even when he called me useless, even when he said I was a dirty whore, even when he told me that my condition was a façade, but I kept on loving.

Even after he hit me for the first time, and the second time, and the tenth time, and the twenty-fifth time.

Loved him when he put me in the hospital, sold me to his friend, choked me against the side of his mustang.

And why would I not? I'm just a useless whore who no one loves, either that or I destroy the feelings of anyone whose actually does love me, except for him, without him I'm not pretty, or smart, I'm nothing. And every time I see his face, I know that I need him.

I just tried rationalized the lies and the hurt and convinced myself that it was all worth it. I sure hoped it was.

But it wasn't, and that's why I bashed a shovel against his skull and locked him in the freezer, so he couldn't get to a fallout shelter, but useless me, I couldn't get to the fallout shelter either, he has the keys to the car.

So, what do you know? I really did need him in the bitter end, and I still lived, and I'm going to suffer, because I deserve it, every bit. And I miss him already.

_**BLUE**_

Sometimes I feel the walls closing in, trapping me, and then I sit there gasping, struggling, trapped in the jaws of a monster of my own creation. But I think my brain filters out the feeling, well, if I might add. Is it a trick? Is the feeling of everything being okay just some kind of illusion? Do I even deserve to be sad?

I keep walking to the ruins far ahead, I feel so nauseous but if I stop to throw up then I know I won't have the willpower to get back up. If I just keep going, I know I can make it. That must be what's driving me to move forward, I know there is no end to all of this. There is no end, and I refuse to accept that SIMON and Wolf are really gone, I don't care if god says it their time, that's not fair, it's never fair!

just for a second, wish I could just disconnect from all the thoughts, always going and going and going and never ending, the idea of that kind of piece is something extremely foreign.

As I make my approach towards the city, I begin to see the true carnage, I thought there were many dead bodies before, now I just want to puke. Their bodies lay, crushed, burned, ripped into pieces, dogs, cats, birds, everyone. Warfare knows no compassion, not for me, or everything that was caught in its crossfire.

It's much colder here than out in the suburbs, the buildings seem to have created a cloud of debris that blocks out the sun. making the sky a mix of grey, it's also harder to see and breath, dust is constantly in my eyes and mouth.

And the fact that dust and bacteria is now in my wounds doesn't help the situation. I'm not sure where to look first, there are buildings and alleys everywhere, they could be in any corner or cranny.

I look down to the ground, and to my horror I see a charred body again, but this one is much more different than the others, he is still alive. Not for long I assume, but I can hear his breaths, desperate for life.

His hands are practically bones, as If he tried to hold onto fire, I look above where he lays, a small building complex, tipped against another is hanging above him. I can hear echoes of what sounds like movement.

Have I found another person? Maybe I can help them. I Begin to walk to what seems like the entrance, I enter cautiously, looking around at all the rubble. "Hello?" I said in a slightly loud tone of voice, my voice is shaky from the pain.

I limp forward, then I look to the stairs that lead up to the next story up "Hello?!'' I yell again, trying to deny the very Idea of walking up those stairs. "Don't you dare make me walk up those fucking stairs!" I clutch onto a chair and shake it furiously in a fit of annoyance and anger.

I sigh for a second and limp towards the stairs, the best way to go about this would be to pull my weight rather than use it to elevate me to the next step, I think. I hope that I'm not doing this for nothing.

I grab onto the railing of the stairs I pull myself up, realizing halfway through that my plan was easier said than done, I end up letting go and landing on my broken ankle, a bone is sticking out of my ankle, I'm not sure which bone it is, but I am sure that I'm about to pass out. I feel my energy suddenly drain, my eyes close on their own and I fall backwards, to an unknown destination.

_**ARIEL**_

Waiting here, weary of the voice that sounds from beyond this room, they call out to me a couple times, but for some odd reason I feel compelled to stay hidden. I can hear a slow strange footstep up the stairs, a feminine grunt heard with it. I hear another step but this time a loud gasp and the sound of what I can only describe as tearing is heard before a thud. I slowly peak around the doorway, a woman with ripped clothes and blue hair is laying at the bottom of the stairs, a bone sticking out of her ankle, blood trickles from the wound. I stare for a while, looking for a sign of life, her chest slowly moving up and down, and her eyes are moving under her eyelids, she is dreaming, I wonder what about.

I walk down the steps cautiously, keeping my eyes fixed on her. I tap her a couple times, checking to see if she is conscious in any way. I cringe at her injuries, she must have not been sheltered during the blasts, it's surprising she even made it this far.

After a few hours of pulling her to a safer area, I try to help her wounds, I began to try to stop her bleeding and immobilize her ankle and leg, I put a blanket over he to help with shock, for now, this is all I can do…. Hopefully I can save her. If it wasn't for my caretaker, I wouldn't have been able to know what to do. I took a moment to take in her appearance.

Long electric blue hair, coming down to her shoulders, pink lips with pale, clear skin, long eye-lashes, skinny but not a stick, a busty girl. I can only think of few words as I stare.

Am I looking at an Angel?

_**WOLF**_

The human body is such a complicated thing, it seems that my body is more focused on trying to figure out where the fuck I am, than making movements.

I think I'm losing blood, I'm floating, roughly, towards some odd destination. I can feel pins and needles, poking me from the beneath my skin, I can feel energy draining as each thought goes into endless vines of information. I think I'm dying, slipping, disappearing, can't I get a hint? Just a small hint of what to expect, I'm scared, but I want it. Maybe I will see blue, my brother, my mom, grandmother, my old dog, maybe they are all waiting for me, in a better place.

Or maybe its darkness, and silence, and desolateness, and stagnant chaos. Stuck in a limbo of informational overload. No consciousness, feelings, ideas, just wondering, adrift in inescapable nothingness.

The only way to know is to move forwards, see what it means to let go.

Suddenly, I feel ripped from this train of thought.

I feel the needles drift away as my hearing fades back and I renter my body, whatever past thoughts I had are now far, deep in my mind, too far to dig out. I am pulled back to the scene around me as I open my eyes.

I feel lightheaded as I look at SIMON, seems like we made a little distance from when we started since I first woke up.

He eyes me for a couple seconds, probably trying to seem if I'm okay "I'm fine…" I say shortly, looking side to side. We are in the street, or what once was a street, there are multiple buildings around us, some only slightly damaged, so reduced to nothing but debris.

"Im not moving till we find a better way to move around" this of course wasn't the only reason why I wanted to stay here, I felt like shit.

He simply scoffed to himself in response "well there aren't any cars so that's too bad"

"who said anything about cars?" I ask as I point to a wheelchair behind him. He shrugs and walks towards it "better than nothing."

I get into the wheelchair; I'm not letting him push me around though...

The sun is beginning to set, a red glow is now over the sky, casting onto the ground, it slowly begins to get colder. I feel myself growing more and more tired as my body moves more sluggishly. Eventually we both lay down on the ground, covering up in jackets from a nearby store as I drift deeper and deeper into sleep.


	5. Dreams

_**WOLF**_

I don't think I had a dream, darkness is all I remember, opening my eyes this time came a lot more naturally, as I looked around to see SIMON searching through a store in the distance, I lay my head down again, sighing to myself.

For a little I contemplate getting up, but in the end, I just decide it's too hard.

I wait for SIMON to come back, he taps me on the shoulder "Hey, get up." I get up slowly and look at him "what do we do…"

He sits for a second "Well we need to locate a long-term place for us to stay, and some canned food and whatever water we can get" He scratches his chin, thinking for a moment.

"And we need to find some other people, assuming there are any left." He looks around as if there is anything to be seen in the first place, but of course, there is absolutely nothing.

I pause for a second "So… do we live just to keep breathing? Just eat, sleep, and search for food to eat? What's in store for the future?"

He looks away from me and lets out a sigh "I don't know. I'm sorry but hopes and dreams no longer have any value."

_**LISS**_

Dylan has a gun, in a safe, I always thought he would use it on me, but instead I have to use it on him I know he isn't dead yet, but before I do that I have to figure out what the code is, he won't even tell me the name of the girls he brings home, so I know this will be next to impossible to figure out, but I should try.

I walk around the rubble of my house, searching through places that I previously labeled as "Dylan territory" in other words, the guest room, where he likes to take girls and do drugs.

I approach the safe, scanning the keypad with my eyes.

His birthday, March twenty-fifth 2027... wrong

Our address... wrong

My birthday, July twenty-third 2028... wrong

And now I have to wait 30 minutes before I can try again, it's going to be a long day.

I stand up and walk through the house, looking at everything I own, all destroyed. But somehow, I feel relieved, no more taxes, no more money trouble, no more cleaning, no more maintenance, and soon, no more Dylan. I can do whatever I want now, no one to judge me, sweet isolation.

I begin to rummage through our now destroyed room, ripped clothes, pieces of wood and rock everywhere, not a single sign of memories to salvage.

I can see something shining, through the rubble, reaching out and grabbing it I begin to realize what it was, Dylan's back up phone, I turn it on and I am amazed at the fact it's still functional. I turn it on and there is no lock screen as I stare at the calling app for a moment.

Think hard, do you know anyone out of this country? Is there the slightest chance someone could answer, someone to guide me, do I want someone to answer? Maybe I need to be alone.

I think for a long time, gradually trying out codes on the safe after the thirty minutes pass. I try, over, and over, and over again… for a long time.

_**SIMON**_

What's wrong with Wolf, he won't let me push him, it would be faster, I can help him. And he has been calling me by my real name, he only does that when he is mad, the world has ended, and my best friend is acting like I made it happen. Doesn't make any damn sense.

I stop in my tracts, waiting for him to notice my sudden halt, takes him a couple seconds before he turns around and wheels over to me "What the hell is your problem?" I ask, raising my palms up briefly

He speaks in a mono-tone but shaky voice "What are you talking about?"

I can feel annoyance slowly over-taking me "Stop, Stop acting like that! Like I did something to you!"

His face soon shows anger in response "Did you stop to think that maybe you did?! That maybe you're the asshole?!"

That annoyance turns to anger "What the fuck?! I just saved your fucking life! I'm the one that got you a wheel chair and carried you here!"

"He moves his hand back and forth in front of him as if to wave off what I said, this only makes me angrier as he responds "I didn't ask you to help! I didn't ask you to do anything! You're not my savoir"

How dare he say something like that to me, I fought an armed solider for him, he wouldn't have made it anywhere without me, I might not be his savoir, but I don't deserve to be treated like this by him "Hey fuck you man! You would be dead somewhere if it weren't for me! And if not dead, dragging your messed-up body across the dirt somewhere! In fact! Let's go back to the house, the house that I paid your half of the rent for with my promotion! Let's go back to everything I've done for you!"

Wolf balls up his fist and his eyes water "You take more than you give! You take everything I want; I want a job? You get it instead, I want to learn a hobby, you master it! I love someone! And you take her away from me! You just want to be better than me! You just want to treat me, like I'm some man-baby that the universe has fucking tasked you to take care of!"

Now my anger is a rage as I begin to yell back at him "Oh so this is about Blue now?! Right?! This is about how your so insecure you can't grow a pair and tell someone how you feel?! How you were to much of a lazy cunt to do anything to help yourself? You're a real fucking loser!"

Now tears stream down his face, his eyes red, he is screaming really loud now "That's right! Let out your true feelings! Cause even once Blue is rotting and incinerated in a fucking wasteland somewhere! And all the buildings are rubble! And all the money is burned, even at the end of the world! I'm the one stuck in a wheel chair unable to even walk on my own! I'm the one pinned to the ground by a pipe! So yes, I am a fucking loser and now, there is nothing I can do to change it."

Instead of continuing to yell back, I just decide it's not worth wasting anymore energy, I don't agree with him, but he is my best friend, and he needs my help right now, not my anger.

_**ARIEL**_

Is it weird to watch someone sleep? Not to be creepy or obsessive, but just to make sure they are breathing, that they will wake up eventually, I might not know her, but I fear that ill end up seeing someone else die today. She was bleeding a small bit from her ankle, which was pretty messed up when I found her, but she also has a concussion, so that worries me more.

I wrapped up her leg with some cloth, the best I could do considering the current situation.

As I sit back, I think about what happened, after Sarah died.

I had never been to funeral, let alone someone's who I cared about, I was a mess, I was angry, sad, and to be honest, I didn't see a future for myself without her, I had so much planned, so much to do with her, and I was a mess. As I walked into the church I looked around at her relatives, the people she loved more than me, the people I never met.

Someone that looked a lot like her walked up to me "Welcome, forgive me for asking, but how do you know Sarah?" This was a question I never really asked myself, was I her friend? Her child? I stuttered for a second "I'm Ariel." surely, they have heard of me. She stared for a second "I'm sorry but I've never heard of you before." This confused me, and I giggled softly, thinking, or hoping rather that she was making a stupid joke "Come on… i-im Ariel, I've known Sarah since…. Ever..." She looked confused "Well…. It's nice to meet you" she shook my hand and gave the most awkward smile I could possibly imagine.

What, does she not believe me? I spent my life with her! More importantly, why wouldn't she mention me, am I that much of an embarrassment? That much of an inconvenience that she couldn't take one conversation to mention my name? what kind of bullshit is that?! I take a seat onto the row of seats, sitting in the back, hanging my head low as to not show my face.

The preacher approaches the pedestal, getting ready to speak "There will be a private ceremony and dinner for the immediate family!" He goes on about where it is and what people do there. This gets me somewhat excited, to meet her family, and pay my respects, ask her and the lord for forgiveness… of being so angry.

I head toward the door that lead to the dinner, there are only about 10 people inside. As I try to head through the doorway I am stopped "Excuse me, who are you?" This man obviously works for the funeral home/church as he looks down at his clipboard

"Ariel… Ariel Greene" He looks up and pursed his lips exhaling through his nose. "I'm sorry but your name isn't on this list, I can't let you in." Anger quickly flares up "But I am her family!" He raises an eyebrow "I'm sorry but the family requested that only they be able to view her body" I stuttered words, trying to think of something to convince him to let me "I am her family! I know her!"

He just stays silent and looks at me for a moment "Well if there is a typo then maybe you can tell me how your related to her then" Those words once again back me into a corner… I don't know what I am to her, or who she is to me. "I'm her… I'm her..." I can't lie, the family doesn't know me

"Look she meant so much to me and I didn't even get to see her yet, I just want to pay my respects and leave" He looks inside and back at me "Sorry but I must respect the family's wishes so if you care that much about paying respects you can do so by going up to the mic and saying some words about her, the family will see if that makes you feel any better" I have to fight back the urge to barge in there as I turned around and grab a champagne glass with a spoon and go up on stage, turning on the mic and banging the spoon against the glass "Excuse me- I would like everyone's attention" The family was drawn out from the room, which is exactly what I wanted, there was only about 6 of them that came out it was easy to tell who was who by age

"I know speeches weren't for another hour, but I had to speak now" Everyone sat down to listen to my surprise "Sarah… she… she wasn't perfect… she never changed the world or gave to charity, or helped old ladies cross the street, but, she was Sarah and that's all it took for me… to love her." Some gave me a disapproving look as some had tears building the same way I did "Sarah found me at a young age, suffering, and I didn't want her to help, I thought my suffering is just how I as meant to live… for so, so long…" Now most people looked confused as I took the mic from the mic stand "She was… so… is so beautiful" I clear my throat for a moment.

"She raised me, showed me that I can live a life, and for the first time ever, I fought to live- wanted to live" Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I internally yelled at myself for not keeping it together "She gave me a gift that surpassed anything I could for a birthday, she gave me a reason to take air into my lungs, feel the sun beat down on my skin, feel the wind blow in my hair, she gave me a reason to live"

"She is my everything, I have nothing without her." People began to look at me an array of emotions "I hate her so much… she, left me behind… and the best part is, she left me alone, so alone! I never met any of you! I never went to a regular school; my life was hers and she didn't make me meet others! She let me believe she would be there forever! But she left me with nothing! No one! Not a damn direction to take or place to go! Cause I'm so much of an embarrassment, she couldn't give me the time of day to let someone know I exist! But I do! I exist! I was there for everything! I know her secrets, I know she only likes primary colors! I know her favorite food is kiwi! I know Sarah!" I could see the tears clouding my vision and feel them rolling down my cheeks "I am her family! She raised me! I am Sarah's family!"

Someone stood up out of her seat "How dare you disrespect her, saying you hate her?! At her funeral! How selfish can you be!"

I rolled my eyes, gripping the microphone tighter "Yeah? Well I learned it from her! You think I had anyone else to look up to? Any family to take examples from?" She now began to practically scream at me "Get the fuck off that stage right now and get out! You don't know Sarah and you never have if you say she is selfish!" I stepped off the stage only to come face to face with who I assumed was her sister "Did it ever occur to you, that you never really knew her in the first place?" and with that, I walked out.

I tried to apologize later but I knew that none of them would want to hear it, and I didn't know where any of them live either way. Soon after her death, the state came to take the rest of her stuff, like vultures feeding on a rotting carcass, they left nothing behind. luckily, I knew where she kept her bag of rainy-day savings, used it to get myself an apartment, and I continued to work as an intern at a business agency. Life seemed empty, for a while I felt more a part of the outside world mort than I did of my own self, and it took the end of the world for me to have a little self-worth.


	6. Wake Up

_**BLUE**_

Shining sunlight beams through the openings of the curtain of a window, and its beaming onto me, a fan swiveling side to side, balancing out the heat of sun with a nice chill, this familiar marble island sooths me, the fan blows my hair, electric blue, everything so bright, and simple, yet complex.

My heart, my body, my soul, so free, so blissfully exposed, so happy, so complete. And that's when they walk in, Wolf and Simon, carrying fast food, my favorite in fact.

"Hey Blue, we didn't have anything to cook so we got your favorite, P.F. changs." Simon says, with his usual warm smile, Wolf following closely behind him, I stand up and walk slowly towards them, reaching out my hand, one touch is all it takes to tell me its real, they are here, and we can be happy together.

I feel my heart do a flip as I feel Simons shoulder, then Wolfs, I hug them both closely, so close. Tears of joy fall from my eyes as I bury my face into each of them, crying. Now I sink, deeper, farther, into that euphoric, peaceful, exhilarating, happiness. I'm free, we are free, free forever.

I cry for a long time, I don't know how I got here, but I'm staying forever.

I pull away eventually and look them both in the eyes "I love you two so much! I never knew I could know two people for months and love them for a lifetime"

"I love you to" "Same here, Blue"

I kiss Simon deeply, for a moment, I can't help it.

I sit back down, clam, collected, the best I've felt in a long time "I missed both of you so much, I thought I would never- could never see you again."

My breath is taken from me, my throat feels tight, my body is stiff, and an overwhelming cold takes over my body as I shiver "Si- Sim- Wo-" I can't speak, or utter out any words at all as they both smile at me, and with those smiles comes an overwhelming sense of fear, they laugh, harshly, voices piercing my eardrums like tiny needles

"The girl thinks she was safe, secure" a terrifying, disembodied voice fills my ears as I back against the wall, it laughs, chuckles at my fear, remarks on my reactions

"Fine Blue! You want me to cook so bad? I'll cook alright!" Wolf says, wearing a face of psychotic rage. He turns the stove on, full blast, my body now numb all over as I lay slumped against the wall, unable to breathe, or speak

Simon laughs at me before grabbing a knife from the draws "We'll whip something up really quick! Anything for our best friend!" He says mockingly, He sets a hand down on the cutting board, dicing up his pinking, blood spurting form his finger as it no looked like nothing more than half ground hamburger meat, All I can do is look in wide eyes of panic, water blocking my vision as tears begin to roll down my face.

Simon stares down at me, with hatred, anger, distain, and my feelings are hurt, more than hurt, crippled. To be crippled by one look is something I had never experienced.

I soon realize the stove, along with half of the kitchen is burning up in flames, Wolf slowly approaches me, fire now filling the kitchen behind him "Get up Blue, fight back"

I don't want to fight him, I don't want to fight either of them, I want to love them forever, stay here with them forever, for some reason I muster the strength to shake my head no. He comes closer, this time he is yelling, so loud that it hurts my ears "Fight back or I'll kill you, Blue!" He puts the knife against my chest, the coldness of the blade chilling me "You can't even fight for yourself?! You're such a coward! You ran away from your home; you ran away from everyone! They needed you, Blue, and you let everyone down, you are a failure!"

All these words just got me crying more, crying harder as I kept shaking my head, I just want it to be okay, why can't everything just be okay.

Now I feel it, the sharp, cold pain in my chest, ripping the breath from my body, and that makes me panic. I breathe faster, harder, but each breath only gets shorter and shorter as I cough up blood, my fingers begin to feel numb, along with my toes, and the cold sensation overtakes my body like pins and needles. There is already a puddle of blood, my vision is blurry. Now all of my breaths leave me, I'm gasping for air I can never get, gasping for one more sweet moment, one more second of sweet life, anything for just a moment longer, If I could only get one more breathe, maybe I could stay here, stay here with them forever and ever, stay, stay, stay, breathe, breathe, breathe. Air suddenly fills my lungs.

And then I wake up.

_**ARIEL**_

As I sit there, thinking about the past, the future, and the present, it gets colder, colder than I expected, but not only was it cold, but the sky was now filled with giant, ominous grey clouds, heavily looming over everything, dust and smoke from the blasts have risen and now make the air thick and cloudy, I can't see much past the doorway of the office building, grey smog and dust act as its backdrop

It gets harder to breathe; the air is so thick that it almost burns my throat, but not to terribly.

As the conditions get worse it only makes me watch her more, she hasn't woken up yet or shown any signs of doing so anytime soon. She begins to smile in her sleep, it's weird to see someone smile, smile in a world that's literally crumbling down around them, she must dream about the most amazing things...

I wish I could sleep, but I can't, I've tried but I end up thinking and thinking for a long time, so rather than doing that I try to get a make-shift splint for her, so when she wakes up I can help her heal, and she can walk on her own with crutches at least.

Two metal pipes, strings, and some cloths from a stray shirt on the ground, best I can do considering the circumstances. I notice that her quiet breathing has gotten louder and louder, at first, I didn't think much of it, but as I let my mind wander for a while, I got more and more anxious, scared that my fears would come true for the millionth time in my life.

I get closer to her. Bending down to listen to her breathing, it sounds strained. My heats doe s a couple flips as I get that deep, sinking feeling in my chest that I've felt so many times before, feeling like my chest is imploding into my heart. I'm not completely panicking yet, I feel her neck just in case something is blocking her air way, nothing is there though.

Is she allergic to something? Is it the dusty air? Did I hurt her? Did something poisonous bite her? Many hypotheticals go through my head, each one contradicted by the situation around me as I look harder for an answer.

I stare at her for a long time as I slowly get closer and closer to panicking, as I stare, I notice a dark crimson puddle forming under her head. She has a concussion?! She must have hit her head when she fell down the stairs! I turn her one her side to see where it is, it's easy to see due to her electric blue hair contrasting the red.

I back up and try to think, why is she suddenly bleeding? Why wasn't she like this before: and neither was she breathing so heavily! Did I hurt her while pulling her up? Is it the way she is laying? If so then should I put her legs above her head or her head above her legs?! Which one makes it worse and which one makes it better?!

My mind is racing as I can't think of anything to do but hold her in my arms and cry, cry over a person I never really met "Oh god… please don't die"

This isn't fair, not one bit.

Suddenly she starts to make small noises of pain, fear, something bad. I look down at her and she begins to shift around.

"Are you awake? Hello?" I call out, but I'm interrupted as she begins to move more erratically, her body now beginning to convulse. Now my mind was scrambled as I tried my hardest to think of something to help, I tried holding her in place, but it was nearly impossible as her body jerked and shook.

Now I felt helpless as it watched her, and hoped, cause maybe if I hope hard enough

Then she'll wake up.

_**SIMON**_

We have been walking for so long now, it seems like the sun is beginning to go down now but it's hard to tell with thick, black clouds covering the sky. We were lucky enough that the bombs weren't atomic or nuclear, so no radiation to worry about, however even with regular missiles they still managed to flatten out all of Los Angeles.

Wolf and me have been silent ever since the argument, I can give credit to Wolf in the least bit for sticking with his emotions, and actually managing to make me feel sorry for him, its rarity that I feel that way for someone I'm angry at, but I guess he gets a pass because of the fact that he is my best friend, like a brother.

As we continued to walk, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye, shiny, almost as if it was glaring back at me, whatever it was sat at the second floor of what looks like an office building.

It only took me a second to realize what it was, and to realize it was pointing at us.

I grabbed Wolf wrapping my arounds around him and jumping behind a busted Van, throwing him next to me.

He recoiled quickly "Get the fuck off me-!'' though he was quickly interrupted when a loud gunshot was heard and the sound of a bullet clanking against the van's door could be heard.

I sat up, putting my back against the van, panic was painted on Wolfs face as he did the same. I looked at him and he looked back at me, both me and him were at a strong point of confusion, wondering why there was still active shooters this early in the apocalypse.

Seven more bullets hit the van, each one being about a second apart as I notices a pause, the bullets ceased as Wolf looked at me in fear and confusion, slowly trying to step over to the other side of the street where a semi-truck was tipped and destroyed, another eight bullets were fired, sparks hitting the ground and launching up pieces of broken road. '

Wolf quickly reeled back as I grabbed his arm to pull him back to safety, I noticed another pause and then a series of 8 more bullets, I realized, they only had eight bullets in a clip.

Now I knew I had to think logically, forget what I'm feeling and survive this situation, survival always comes first. I pulled a lighter out of my pocket and grabbed a stray newspaper, I then scanned both sides of the road from under the car, I realized a stray tire in front of the car, on the underside of the car, there was leaking oil, it seemed flammable enough, now I had a plan.

I used the newspaper to funnel the oil leaking from the car into towards the tire, making sure it wasn't close enough to touch the puddle next to the car.

Once it made a puddle next to the tire I lit up the trail, setting the tire ablaze.

As it burned, a large, black cloud of smoke began to block our view from the rogue sniper, and vice versa. As the wind blew the smoke, I began to move with it.

Wolf looked at me in a mix of fear and reassurance, very odd mixture "Good thinking." He said. I stood up and put his shoulder over mine as we both limped together to the nearest building, gunshots and the sound of bullets hitting debris. I began to go up the stairs of what seemed to be an office building of some sorts, I went up the stairs, holding Wolf close to me as I didn't spare a second to look back, the black smoke flooded into the building, making my eyes go cloudy and my lungs go empty.

I'm suffocating, not just literally, all the time, I'm so deprived of air, I just need air. Maybe if I can keep going, try to make it out of this nightmare and take a breath, ill wake up.

_**ARIEL**_

Now I'm scared, more scared than before, gunshots rang back and forth in my ear drums. I backed up into the corner of the room with her, fearful of where the person shooting could be. Gunshots aren't the only thing I can hear right now, I can also hear people talking, their voices amplified by all the broken metal and emptiness of the city around them, I couldn't see them from where I was, but I could certainly hear them being shot at, silence now. I know they didn't make it, there is a pause between the gunshots and the sound of…. Running water?

It sounds as if something was ignited, pops and crackles could be heard as I laid her in my arms, holding her close as I backed into the corner closer, my eyes wide as I'm unsure of what's just outside.

She laid in my arms, convulsing and jerking in all kinds of directions, my eyes begin to water again, but not because of crying, black smoke begins to flood into the room, I look from side to side in a mix of fear and confusion, I can feel air being replaced with volatile smoke as I went into a coughing fit "What the- fu- fuck?" not able to get through those simple words as my lungs begged for air, I looked down at her as she began shake at a less erratic pace, she joined me in a fit of coughing, but she still hadn't awoke.

I drug her with me over to the giant hole in the side of the building, there was no way down from here, but I could at least breathe better "Okay… it's okay" I said to her as I tried to ger closer to clearer air "Breathe for me, okay? Breathe"

Her coughing stopped, and she just laid there now, void of movement except for the slow up and down of her chest as she breathed. I took a sigh of relief.

I took a couple seconds of calm, unfortunately it was short lived as sets of footsteps and dragging could be heard walking up the stairs, no, running! Who could it be? The ones being shot at or the ones that shot, wait, were they shooting back?!

Now my brain was doing backflips inside my head, the only thing I could think to do is the same thing that always happens when I'm scared, I start throwing things. First a stray pole, then the door to a cabinet.

I hear a couple of grunts as the larger one, holding his companion blocks his face

They pause for a moment, for a minute I thought they were staring at me, but I came to a realization that they were looking at the girl, loose in my arms. I backed up a little, holding her closer as I look at them defensively. The smaller one with a limp practically dived for her, trying to run over only to fall, the larger one catching him quickly "Blue?"

They walk in and now I can see them clearly. The larger one has jet black hair and green eyes, his jaw line was defined and his gaze sharp, his expression was calm yet alert. The other one was shorter than him, skinnier to, he has deep ginger hair that was thin and messy, his eyes a bright hazel color, his expression read panic and sadness, a large wound was in his stomach, blood staining his whole stomach and shirt.

I tried my best not to look so scared as I gave them a stare "Listen, I don't know who you are, but you need to back off right now"

Suddenly the larger one swooped me up and pinned me against the wall, lifting me up off the ground by my neck, fear settled in as he used his arm to pin my hands above me, my feet dangling as I stared wide eyed.

"You fucking bitch, you killed her you fucking cunt!" He put more pressure now. Killed her? I looked to the side to see her chest was no longer moving up and down, panic instilled, I didn't know her, but she died in my arms.

The smaller one began to cry as he pushed on her chest, doing compressions "No! She is still alive! She is alive! Blue, oh my god don't let it be true!" He pushed faster, blowing into her mouth, compressions, mouth to mouth. He did this for about a minute before the larger one let me go just as I was about to pass out, he stomped on her chest, with what looked like enough force to break her ribs, however, she suddenly jumped up and took a large breath, looking around before collapsing again and sleeping peacefully.

It turns out she won't wake up from begging, only when someone stomps on her chest will she.

Wake up.


	7. Laugh

_**CYRUS**_

In some weird way, I would describe myself as having good intentions, I don't think I've ever done anything in my life which I think I could say I was doing I an evil or amoral way. But I've come to realize, that what people think of you outweigh your intentions.

But I lied, and manipulated, and ran, and stayed a coward and thief my whole life and I destroyed everything, and the worst part is, I'm glad I lost everything, because it made me realize that none of it mattered.

Being able to ride on the road, go where ever I want, do whatever I want and smoke whatever I want, is true freedom. Not working for 18 years of my life just to get a job to buy a car to drive to work and then work until I'm dead, that doesn't sound like a life I want to live.

In other words, it's not enough for me, nothing will ever be enough for me, but sometimes when I get high, I feel like it's all bearable. I never thought that I could lose the will to live and still want to stay alive just for the next fix, it's a vicious cycle that I'm pretty sure I'm not strong enough to break.

I honestly only remember my early childhood, my teenage years, beyond that has been one big blur of parties, arguments, and court rooms.

That was until I chose to travel, staying in one place for too long makes me want to claw my eyes out, California didn't seem like a bad idea in the beginning, that is until the bombs dropped, luckily, I was on the outskirts of LA, visiting the Hollywood sign. It's an odd sight to see mushroom clouds appear in an instant, they were incredibly bright, it burnt my eyes, I remember them being extremely quiet for a few a seconds, breaking the sound barrier. The blasts weren't nearly as bad as the shockwaves, tipping over buildings, throwing cars, blowing rocks and broken glass from other cars into my body, I was shot back into what I now assume is the Hollywood sign. I feel like I can't move my head, I feel like my neck is sliding off my body, it appears this is the one time I needed the pain killers, I guess I'll just sit here for a while and think.

_**BLUE**_

I breathe in, feeling smoke tainted air fill my lungs, making me cough, my chest feeling bruised as I feel two arms wrap around me, hugging me tightly, I still don't react as my vision slowly becomes less blurry "Wh- wh-" I hear a familiar voice shush me, and it only takes me a second to realize who it was "Simon?! Simon! Wolf!" I call out to both as my vision clears and I can see Wolf standing in front of me, and Simon holding me in a large embrace, I hug him back, tears falling from my eyes as I can't help but let my emotions take control of me and go ballistic.

I cry, and go limp, and hug and kiss him, hugging and crying on Wolf to, this only lasts for a couple of minutes until I notice a girl with light brown hair and dark eyes, a bruise around her neck as she looks back at me with a smile.

I look to Wolf and Simon and back at her "Who is she?" Simon answered first "Wait… you've never seen her before? How did you get hurt?" My eyes scanned down to my now bandaged ankle, I looked back up at him "I fell down the stairs trying to climb on this broken ankle, I guess she patched me up" I gave a small shrug and I looked over to the girl who slowly approached "Hello… My name is Ariel, your name is Blue? That's pretty, its nice to meet you, I was worried."

Her greeting offset me a little bit but nonetheless I was happy that a stranger was kind enough to help me in my time of need, but I was even more happy to have been found by the love of my life and my best friend.

Simon stood up and approached her, holding out his hand "Hello, Ariel, my name is Simon, this is Wolf, I'm so so sorry for hurting you, my emotions just took control and I was worried about my girlfriend" She looked up at him, I could still see a fearful yet relieved look in her eyes as she nodded and walked a little closer to me "Its… okay"

Smoke slowly began to clear up, letting somewhat fresh air enter my lungs. Wolf stared at me, as if he thought that if he didn't stare, I would simply vanish from thin air. I looked back, matching his stare, it seemed to snap him out of his daze "I-im sorry for staring I just… you mean a lot to me Blue, you're my best friend, I need you and Simon to be around for a long time." This made me smile a bit "You to, I love you both, you're like a brother to me, Wolf. When I thought I lost you and Simon, my heart almost couldn't take it"

He paused for a moment, and I could swear I thought I saw a tear form "Yeah, you're like a sister to me…. An amazing sister."

He limped over to the window and sat down at it, looking out. I hope he knows I do love him, just not in the way that he wants me to, I'm in love with Simon, and no matter how bad it hurts him, I can't change how I feel about him.

Ariel soon walked over to me, sitting next to me "How are you feeling?" I shrugged "Well I can't say that I'm bored" she nodded and stared for a moment "Same here..." there was an awkward silence before she spoke up again "Can I hug you?" This caught me off guard for a second, but considering the circumstances I wasn't about to turn It down "Okay" tears quickly formed in her eyes as she wrapped her plump arms around me, and mine around her "I know you don't know me, but when I found you, I needed to help you, I could tell you had people that care about you, and I'm so glad you're alive."

I hugged her a little tighter "You patched up a stranger, and I cant thank you enough Ariel, you helped save my life, and I cant fully repay you, ever" She giggled amidst her cries "You can repay me by staying alive, I didn't put in all that work for nothing after all" I was about to laugh but it was cut short as bullet flew by Wolfs head and into the ground, throwing a surprising amount of dirt and debris up.

Wolf stumbled back as several shots more were fired, Simon grabbed Wolf and pulled him to cover as Ariel and I backed up to the wall. Simon had a panicked look "Shit, I forgot about him!" Ariel looked over to him "Who?!" Simon pulled Wolf with him as he sprinted against the wall with us "Alright, Ariel, can you carry Blue?"

Ariel shook her head "I don't know! If I can then not for long" He grabbed me and put me over his should, and then propping Wolf against him "We don't have time for this, it's time to go" He as fast as he could, which wasn't so fast considering he had Wolf and I on his shoulders, Ariel followed, a bullet barely missing her.

We made our way down the stairs, trying to avoid being scene, Snake froze as did everyone else, there were two gunmen outside, both with big looking guns. I looked to Simon and whispered "These two have been chasing you? What did you do?!" Simon looked at me with a small amount of annoyance, but I knew he was just trying to think "No, there was only one before, and now there are two, and me and Wolf haven't directly encountered anyone except for you and Ariel, they started shooting just before we found you" Ariel chimed in but still in a whisper "That's who was shooting?" Snake grunted in anger "I don't know if it was them, everyone just shut up and let me think"

Everyone including me followed his orders, not bothering to get angry about his tone of voice towards us. After a couple moments Simon looked at us "Blue your bait, Ariel, I need you to help me fight… and Wolf… just stay here and don't make any noise"

_**LISS**_

I used to think about what my life could be without Dylan in my life, but he had some odd way of seeping into my thoughts and controlling me, with bittersweet words and violence, and I never knew that so much fear and hatred could come from someone who loved me. He loved me… right? Without him, I might still be alone. I've been at this code for a good couple of hours, there was still some bread and a water bottle intact in the kitchen. I don't know why I'm so scared to leave, I can't bring myself to take steps away, I feel exposed.

I can remember the first time Dylan hurt me…

I sat in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, trying to admire myself, deep red lipstick, mascara, and two buns, my black, wavy, bangs draping over my forehead.

Dylan walks in, a strong odor of Cigarettes and chemicals following him "Hey, I'm not going out with you tonight, that work thing called me in. I stopped, my face pouting as I looked at him "You said we would go out, this work thing isn't even giving you money, just bail that trash bin" He rubbed his head, groaning in annoyance "They offer allot more than money, we won't even need any soon"

I threw my lipstick down and turned towards him, glaring at him with irate "What the fuck is that supposed to even mean? We can't fucking live off nothing, We haven't had electricity in two days! And you tell me not to work!"

He raised his voice, pronouncing sternness in his tone "I'm not the goddamned bad guy, I'm trying to put together things for the future, go without AC, Elizabeth" I stopped for a second and gasped "Don't call me by that name, asshole!" I marched over to the end table next to my side of the bed, opening it and pulling out a bra that I knew wasn't mine "You say you're not the bad guy, but you're cheating! I know these aren't mine Dylan and I know you haven't been sneaking out at night to 'work'" I began to cry "Tell me it isn't true!"

He yelled loudly and backed me up to the wall, grabbing my wrists tightly, his demeanor making my throat feel tight "Oh please, don't act like you don't sleep around you fucking slut"

I struggled and looked at him, fear in my eyes "Don't fucking touch me you cheating son of a bitch!"

"You don't run shit! You cheap, perverted whore, all you do is freeload off of me you stupid bitch! So, if you're going to freeload of me, you'd better do as I say!" He slapped me, sending me to the ground, picking me back up again before I could react me back up and held a razor against my neck "Say it! Say it, whore"

He pressed it against my neck as I screamed out "I will do what you say! I promise! I promise! Please Dylan…"

He looked at me with anger, I looked back, waiting for the razor to be taken away from my neck "I love you, Liss, those other girls mean nothing, and besides, who could love you like I do? You have a mental disorder Liss, I'm not the sexual deviant here, in fact, I bet your horny right now you sick slut"

He pushed the razor farther against my neck, I backed up in the other direction, falling onto the bed as he got on top of me, he cut through my shirt with the razor opening it "Dylan, Baby, please I'm not in the mood" He shushed me and covered my mouth "Your always in the mood" Tears rolled down my face as I struggled, but I didn't get free till he was satisfied, using me.

That was the first time I was raped, but it happened many times after, his friends, him, a couple times girls would even do it. Somewhere down the line, I think I started becoming a masochist of some sort, wanting to be hit, wanting to make up for whatever I did to deserve this, I convinced myself this was a way of repenting, but I realized after a year and a half that it was just fun and games to Dylan, just fun and games.

But it doesn't matter, he is in a freezer, and I don't think he'll be coming out of it anytime soon. I think for a moment about the code to that safe.

Our anniversary. I type in the numbers, a beep followed by the red light on the safe turning green, and an audible clicking sound. I open it slowly, a large revolver lays there, on top of a box of ammo and a few sacks of what I assume to be thousands of dollars, maybe that job was paying him after all.

_**ARIEL**_

I'm nervous, I've never had to fight anyone before but considering the current circumstances I think it's my only option, I don't think this Simon person can take two armed men at a time, no matter how strong he seems to be. But on the other hand, I'm not sure we would stand a chance even if Blue and Wolf were well enough to fight. I look over to Simon, my face covered with doubt "Are you sure we can do this? They have guns, maybe we should just run" He looked at me, a calm expression giving me the slightest amount of reassurance.

"I'm not sure but there doesn't seem to be a clear path of escape and we can't just wait here for them to start searching, we have to fight them, just wait for the signal, it will be okay" I can feel the sinking feeling of fear in my chest, making want to hide in the closest corner, but I don't as I look through a small opening in a shelf we used to cover the window, if this plan works, Blue should be directly under us

I can hear blue screaming, but rather than running to her aid as my instincts say to do, I wait for the soldiers to come running, within minutes I see both, draped in army outfits, both looking for the source of her screaming.

Simon looking to me and nodding, he whispers "Just wait for them to be under us, the throw down the shelf, we have to run as soon as we throw" I nod back, waiting.

They point their guns around and slowly walk towards were Blue should be "Please help! I'm dying! Oh god!" Her screams are surprisingly convincing as they approach, they finally are under us

"Blue! Run!" Simon yells as him and I push the shelf forward, it lands on one's head, sending him to the ground like a ragdoll as the other one looks up at us, firing several bullets at us, we both duck and crawl to the fire escape. He begins to reload as we make our way down, but not fast enough as he points the gun at us, unexpectedly, Blue lunge out from the doorway in front of him and tackle him, groaning in pain as his gun slides away, and he tries to scramble to his feet quickly. As Simon approaches the last stairwell, he jumps from it, grabbing the gun only to have it thrown from his hands as the solider smacks it away, I quickly follow them, ducking as the gun fires on its own, a bullet narrowly missing me.

Simon grabs the gun pointing it at the solider, My eyes filling with tears as Blue lays on the ground in pain, seeming like she injured her leg.

Simon puts his finger on the trigger, only for a bullet to hit the gun he was holding, causing it to explode as he falls to the ground, holding his hand, crimson liquid spraying from an unknown injury, but I didn't look at for long. I quickly turned my head to the direction of the other bullet, it seemed that the solider that the shelf landed on wasn't dead after all, but he seemed barely alive.

In this moment I felt a rush, maybe of adrenaline, or maybe of something else, I wanted to live, and this was the first time I felt like I would do anything to survive. Something snapped inside me like a twig, or Maybe it was more like a spark of something powerful. I felt my emotions leave, for just a split second I was a machine, all it took was one deep breath. I looked around me, seeing a rusted piece of rebar on the ground, I knew what I had to do, my thoughts went by too fast to feel disgusted at the idea of what I was about to do.

The world seemed to stop for a second as I ran into the solider with the rebar in my hand, knocking the gun out of his grasp, the gun went off next to my ear, the stray bullet hitting the other assailant in the neck, but it didn't stop me, I hit him once over the head, his eye popping out of the socket as I hit him again, an odd moan rang from him, then I hit him again and again and again until he couldn't see anymore, until he couldn't think anymore, until his face looked more like fresh hamburger meat than a human. Every sound I heard him make, every twitch, every plead, prompted another strike, until it was over, until he was over.

And that was it, problem solved, I get to live. Everyone gets to live.

My ears were ringing, and I tried to swallow the spit in my mouth, the strong taste of iron covering my tongue, I threw the rebar to the side and stumbled back, closing my eyes only for his mangled face to still be visible. My whole body shook as I walked over to Simon, looking at him, his finger was missing, his pinkie finger to be exact.

He was shaking to, but I assume not for the same reason as me, Wolf limped out "Is everyone okay?"

We all looked at him in silence, but that silence was soon broken with Blue 's giggles, Blue laid down, sprawled out on the ground, looking at the sky as she began to laugh hysterically, I soon followed after, and after me soon follow Wolf and Simon, We all laughed loudly, our laughs echoing against the bare buildings and cars as tears poured from our eyes, we all laid there, sinking into the ground, it was apparent to us, possibly, that at this point we knew the world had really gone mad, but come to think of it.

Its been mad from the beginning.


	8. Bite

We all laid there, sprawled out, laughing, crying, anything to get rid of all the emotion for a little bit, I look at my hand as I laugh, blood spraying form where my pinkie used to be, a tear drops pouring from my eye due to the pain, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I'm having a break down, usually if something like this happened, I would be calm, collected, perfect. But somethings wrong, somethings always been wrong with me.

Its other people, I don't understand them, I don't anything, I thought when I grew up I would understand it all, but the world changed, new things become old, and people try to say there aren't any standards, they all try to drag you down to suffer in their personal little hell with them. I just wanted to be good.

Is that so bad? I wanted to be the guy anyone could rely on, I wanted to be the one who could always protect the ones he loved, why does everyone make that so hard. I never understood people, or myself sometimes, I cared so much about what society thinks that nothing else mattered, that's why I tried to be handsome, kind, strong, loving, funny, tried to be perfect. But now there is no society, and I'm not sure what I'm doing here anymore, I'm not sure what I'm fighting for anymore.

I thought I knew what I wanted to be, ever since Wolf came into my life, when we were small children, years ago.

I was 9 years old, home alone, we lived in a nice neighborhood, with a lot of diverse kinds of people, considering it was California. I decided to go outside, not something I always did but I guess I wanted to take a step back from all the video games and tv.

I walked outside, looking around at the people across the street, packing boxes into the house behind them, they had a kid with them, he was my age and his hair was long and Scruffy going down almost to his shoulders.

I wandered for a while, playing basketball by myself, a couple times we made eye contact until who I assumed where his parents took noticed and walked over to me, the woman spoke first "Hey there, were moving in next door and I saw you playing over here and I was just wondering if 'Wolfie' here could join you."

He held his head down, looking at the ground blankly. I nodded slowly his parents nudging him forward "We will be right across the street packing, if you need us" They both smiled and walked back across the street leaving the two of us in silence.

"Hi, your name is Wolfie?" I asked in humor and curiosity, he looked up at me, a small hint of annoyance in his tone "No! My name is Wolf, just Wolf, I hate it when they call me that"

I tilted my head, fidgeting with my thumb "Your Mom and Dad seem nice" As a child I didn't see the pain in his face but looking back on it... I wish I could have made it better "They aren't my Mom and Dad, they're my foster parents"

I looked confused, unbeknownst to what he meant "Foster?" He sighed and grabbed the basketball from my hand shooting it a couple times, missing each one. I grabbed it from him "Like this, you have to aim with your fingers" I placed his hands on it correctly and he took another shot, making it in perfectly.

His face lit up a little bit, as he did against, making it once more.

We spent time with each other for a couple of hours, His parents brought us food, we talked and discovered we both liked the same things, and I felt like I was making a real friend. His foster father soon walking over "Hey, kiddo, we're going to the store for a couple minutes, we will be right back, will you be okay here?" we exchanged eye contact, and both nodded, after that he smiled and drove off.

Wolf sat down on the lawn chairs we set up earlier, he looked at me, his long hair draping over his left eye "I saw that fort thingy in your back yard when I was packing, can we go there?"

I looked nervous about it; I felt nervous to, but I wasn't sure the reason why I had such a bad feeling about this "Uh… sure"

I walked with him to where it was, it had been there since I was even younger, it was broken down and covered in weeds and vines from all kinds of plats, the colors faded into a slight beige or grey "Here it is, I don't use it much anymore, but it's cool to sit inside sometimes, although my Mom tells me it's not a good idea to go in it until Dad cuts down the plants."

Wolf walked forward, picking up a stick and whacking weeds and vines to the side, the stick breaking against them "Why? It seems fine." I shrugged in response to his question "Maybe so I don't ruin my clothes… or something"

Wolf sat inside after moving a lot of the plants, I joined him, he looked around, as if paranoid that someone was watching us, before pulling a small, thin stick out of his pocket, the smell of tobacco coming with it "I found this, my foster dad, Carl, he loves these things."

I recoiled a small bit and looked at it "It smells bad" He nodded in agreement; I began to look around as well in paranoia "So what?" He gave a nervous look and pulled out a lighter, lighting it "Let's try it" Before I could protest, he took a long puff, only to quickly cough, a big cloud of smoke coming out as the smell made me a little sick, he tried again, this time barely not coughing and handing it to me "Feels… weird, your turn"

I took a hit to, feeling dry, hot smoke fill my lungs, tobacco and nicotine seemingly filling my lungs, making me sick to my stomach instantly, I threw it off the side and spit onto the ground, letting out the smoke "Gross! Adults are so gross!" Wolf nodded, laughing a little bit.

Suddenly there was a strange hissing sound, at first i wasn't sure what it was, but I realized soon enough what it was, there was small impact sound, a pained squeak left Wolf as he fell backwards, it wasn't long before he was screaming, I could see blood dripping from his arm as he held it, I backed up against the wall of the fort, watching the snake slither away.

I felt something change in me, as if my emotions shut off in this moment and all that mattered was acting on what I thought was right, quickly, I grabbed him, practically forcing him to walk with me as I went inside my house going for the bathroom and grabbing the house phone, dialing in 911, once the operator answered I didn't waste time telling them my address, but I left the phone on call to go attend to Wolf.

As I arrived, I looked down at him, his breathing was already shallow and his eyes were turning an odd grey color, the bite was huge and swollen, the area around it bruised, he looked at me "Where am i? where…" before he could finish, he gagged.

I was shaken for a second, amazed at how fast his demeanor changed, he was perfectly fine a couple of minutes ago. I go down to his level washing the wound out with soap and water lightly, and pouring rubbing alcohol on it, he struggled, yelping in pain.

But it only seemed to help a little bit, his face was red and he was sweating, gagging over in over again as his breathing was barely audible. Now I was crying, I wanted the police to be here so bad, but it was looking like they were going to be too late.

"Im going to get help! Im getting get help!" I yelled as I forced him over my shoulder, I knew there was a clinic nearby, at this age I wasn't sure of the difference between a hospital and clinic but I knew I had to do something, he was heavy, but I forced myself to run, I ran and ran until my mouth was dry and I couldn't swallow, and my eyesight was reduced to dark tunnels, breathing so fast I was lightheaded, but I kept running until I made it there, bursting through the doors and falling down, dropping both of us, within seconds of laying down I passed out.

I opened my eyes.

I was laying across to chairs, the sound of the workers at the clinic slowly fading in, as the spinning from my sleep slowly ended. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up and looking to the left of me. There I saw my parents in somewhat of a heated conversation with Wolf's.

This scared me a bit, making me think about whether we would ever be able to hang out again.

Apparently, his foster parents where so shaken up from this experience, that they decided to send Wolf back to his old orphanage, not wanting to lose a child under their care, however, my parents noticed how sad I seemed, and they adopted him.

From that day, after his adoption. Me and Wolf were inseparable friends, I never really considered him a brother, but he is family. So why does he hate me so much?

WOLF

I think we are broken; I don't know if we can be fixed anymore. Laughing, between two dead bodies? What kind of people are we becoming, not even a day into the apocalypse and it already feels as if I've lived an entire fucking lifetime.

I'm so angry, at Snake, at Blue. I feel terrible, worse than terrible. He has to exclude me from every plan, ever attempt to make things better, he has to be the hero "Just stay here and don't make any noise" what the fuck is that?! He knew what he was doing when he said that, he knew how angry that would make me, I can't even confront him because he always looks like the hero, he loves to fool people into thinking he is a perfect man, but he is flawed, he doesn't understand the first thing about people, or relationships. It's a façade. After we are done with our laugh's and cries, we all regain our composure and decide its best to keep traveling.

It's the creepiest thing to walk through a city, and hear no noise, not a peep. I would say it was as silent as a mouse, but I'm not sure if there are any mice left to be silent anymore. The only thing you can hear is our footsteps, Blue and I's pained grunts, and the slow, terrifying sound of metal creaking under the pressure of broken skyscrapers, any of which could collapse at any moment.

The silence is killing me, creeping up my spine and around my neck, coaxing my jaw to open and say something, anything, no matter how stupid or pointless. I look up from my feet "So… Ariel... You should tell us a bit about yourself…. If you want, I mean, you don't have to"

She looked at me, her brown eyes almost seeming grey from the sadness in her expression "I don't feel like talking…" Now I felt like an idiot, she did just turn someone's head into minced hamburger meat.

I looked at Simon and Blue who exchanged awkward glances with me, I let my eyes fall to Simons hand "How's your Hand?" I asked, already knowing what the most likely answer is.

He looked up at me with a sarcastic look, not saying a word, but I persisted. "Well all of them seem to be mourning over the loss of your beloved pinky finger" Blue barely cracked a smile, and Ariel didn't even react.

I forced out a chuckle "Well, look at the bright side…. uh… at least… um" He interrupted me there "I'm sorry, you're fuckin' joking right now, right?"

He seemed mad at me, almost out of nowhere, the tone of his voice made Blue and Ariel turn towards us both as we all walked a bit slower than we did before. He looked at me angry, shoving the nub close to my face "Do you think this is funny, do you think its okay to say stuff like that? In a moment like this?!"

Blue turned towards him, putting her hand on his shoulder, and pulling him back slightly "Simon, you need to calm down!" He jerked his shoulder from her grasp, Ariel looking concerned as I tried to give him an answer to his question "I was just trying to-" I was quickly interrupted as his words over took mine "What?! Make it all better with jokes, and your nice guy routines? Who even told you that you were funny in the first place?!" I frowned, feeling annoyed and oddly offended.

Blue spoke up "Alright Simon, it's time to stop!"

"Jeez Simon! I figured its better than walking in silence, thinking about depressing stuff! I already did that, but we survived, and we found Blue and another person, things are looking up" I said, now he walked close to me, I backed up a little in response while he responded "Really?! Things are 'looking up' you say, what is wrong with you?"

Ariel shifted uncomfortably now, probably not wanting to butt into a personal conversation, Blue looked furious and so did I.

I stared at him for a second, I dropped my crutch and lunged forward, hitting him as hard as I could across the face, blood now dripping from his nose. Before Simon could do anything in return, Blue lunged as well, pushing him over, but then she did the same to me, knocking both of us to the ground before screaming "What is wrong with both of you? You two must be fucking crazy if you think I'm going to listen to this crap! There is no way you can't' see how fucked up your being to each other right now?!" she turned around to Ariel, looking at her and point at us with her hand "How do you feel about this?" there was a pause and a strong look of concern from Blue "Ariel?" she asked.

My eyes drifted over to Ariel, who was hyperventilating, her hand was on her chest as her face turned red, even past her tan skin as tears fell from her eyes "P-please n-no more fighting, just don't hurt each other, I can't take it anymore! I can't I can't I won't I can't" She seemed to be completely losing it at this point, crying and yelling those words repeatedly, her movements becoming increasingly frantic.

Blue approached, limping over. She grabbed Ariel's hand and gave the both of us a sharp look before walking into an alley not too far, so we couldn't see her meltdown I suppose.

CYRUS

I'm realizing now that I don't have much to think about, half of my life being a drugged-out blur make it hard for me to think about, let's play twenty questions.

Who am I?

Cyrus Bellamy.

What am I doing here?

I'm not sure I ever really knew what I was doing anywhere.

What is wrong with me?

Everything, I'm pretty sure god made a mistake when he made me, I wish I never would've touched the drugs, if I never knew how good they felt, I could've just ended the suffering a long time ago

Whose fault is it?

It can't be mine; it's not my fault! I didn't wish for this, I think.

Who am I?

I don't know anymore, does anyone miss me? Did anyone ever love me? Did anyone try to help? I think I had a friend once, it feels like I've buried the memory of them far in my mind.

What is the worst thing I've ever done?

I'm starting to sober up, I need to stop there, don't think, don't remember. I can't do it, it's too much. I feel myself begin to shiver, sending pain through my back as I don't dare open my eyes. It feels like I'm hit with a sudden wave of heat, but at the same time shivers still plague my body.

Withdrawal is setting in as I can't help but grit my teeth, it feels like my body is shutting down, I fumble my hand around on the ground, looking for anything to make this stop, I feel something round, cylindrical.

A soda can? Or perhaps what I need most, a pill bottle? All I need to do is open my eyes.

I open my eyes…

I open my eyes…

I open my eyes. I open my eyes. I open my eyes. I open my eyes. I open my eyes...

It occurs to me now that my eyes have been open this entire time, and yet I still can't see anything, I begin to panic, terrible thoughts flooding my mind, the more I try to calm myself the heavier my lungs get, only able to wonder if its permanent or perhaps I just haven't had time to restore my sight.

I begin to struggle now, sending ripples of pain going through my neck, I realized I was hurt a lot more than I originally thought, I sat in place and thought about the pain I was feeling, and it gave me a revelation.

I don't remember the last time I felt pain.

When last did I feel... anything.


End file.
